Let’s be real you didn’t land here looking for a Kama Sutra diagram. You showed up because you need that perfect spicy pun for your group chat, your next Instagram story, a flirty text, or just to make your partner snort-laugh mid-makeout.
We’ve got your back (and your front, and your upside-down).
Below are 20 ridiculously popular sex-position-inspired categories, each packed with 15 short, savage, and shareable puns.
Save this page, bookmark it, screenshot it whatever you do, just don’t blame us when your friends start stealing these left and right.
Missionary Position Puns
I’m a missionary… I came to spread the good word
Missionary: because sometimes vanilla needs sprinkles
Missionary where eye contact goes to get awkward
Call it missionary, I call it face-time with benefits
Missionary: the original Netflix and chill
We did missionary… I still saw God
Missionary the position that says “I like you a lot”
Missionary but make it intense staring contest
Missionary: because who needs acrobatics when you have feelings?
Doing missionary so I can count your freckles
Missionary the only position with built-in cuddling
Missionary: where “harder” and “I love you” sound the same
Classic missionary because trends are temporary, eye contact is forever
Missionary: the human equivalent of a warm hug… with thrusting
Still choosing missionary in 2025 fight me
Doggy Style Puns
Doggy style because sometimes you just need a rear view
Doggy style: the original “back that ass up”
Doggy style giving “good boy” a whole new meaning
In doggy style we trust
Doggy style: where hair-pulling is a love language
Doggy style the position that invented spanking
Doing doggy so I can admire the booty artwork
Doggy style: because faces are overrated anyway
Doggy style the only time “on all fours” is sexy
Doggy style and chill?
Doggy style where the view is 10/10, conversation is 0/10
Doggy style: because arch support is important
Call it doggy style, I call it “handlebars included”
Doggy style the reason ponytails were invented
Doggy style: making backshots an Olympic sport
Cowgirl Position Puns
Save a horse, ride a cowboy… or just ride me
Cowgirl: because who runs the world? Girls on top
Reverse cowgirl now with 100% less eye contact
Cowgirl: the only time “yee-haw” is foreplay
Cowgirl position cardio that counts
She said “giddy up” and I understood the assignment
Cowgirl: where she controls the remote… and everything else
Reverse cowgirl the silent treatment, but make it make it hot
Cowgirl: the original power bottom (wait no, power top)
Cowgirl because queens don’t stay on their backs
Cowgirl: the only ride with a happy ending
Cowgirl twerking, but make it intimate
Cowgirl: where “ride or die” gets literal
Reverse cowgirl for when you’re mad but still horny
Cowgirl: the only time bouncing on it is a flex
Spooning Position Puns
Spooning because cuddling deserved an upgrade
Spooning: the sneaky way to get morning sex
Big spoon energy, little spoon benefits
Spooning lazy sex for people who love naps
Spooning leads to forking, just saying
Spooning: Netflix on, pants off
Spooning the position that invented “just the tip” lies
Big spoon: professional jetpack provider
Spooning where butt grabs are mandatory
Spooning: because side boob is underrated
Spooning romantic until someone farts
Spooning: the human USB charger
Spooning 10% sex, 90% not letting go
Spooning the only position with built-in blanket theft
Spooning: because back hugs are foreplay
69 Position Puns
69 nice until someone gets stage fright
69: the only math that ends in orgasm
69 teamwork makes the dream work
We tried 69… now we both need chapstick
69 recycling at its finest
69: where dinner and dessert happen at the same time
69 the only time losing a staring contest is hot
Tried 69, ended up with a neck cramp and a participation trophy
69 mutual destruction, but sexy
69: the original “you scratch my back…”
69 when blowjobs and head pats collide
69: because sharing is caring
69 the position that killed small talk
We 69’d so hard we invented new yoga
69 perfect until someone laughs and ruins it
Lotus Position Puns
Lotus tantric sex for people with strong thighs
Lotus: eye contact so intense we ascended
Lotus the position that invented soul-gazing
Lotus yoga class gone very wrong (or right)
Lotus: sitting in his lap like I pay rent there
Lotus slow grinding disguised as spirituality
Lotus where “om” turns into “oh yes”
Lotus intimacy level: married for 10 years
Lotus the human pretzel of love
Lotus deep breathing and deeper thrusting
Lotus eye contact + grinding = instant soulmate
Lotus the only position where stillness is sexy
Lotus tantra called, it wants its crown back
Lotus when regular sex feels too shallow
Lotus spiritual sex with a side of cramp
Standing Sex Puns
Standing sex because walls were invented for a reason
Standing sex cardio + core workout unlocked
Standing sex when the bed is too far away
Standing sex legs shaking? That’s the finisher
Standing doggy against the shower wall hits different
Standing sex the original “no time no see”
Standing 69 advanced level unlocked (and dropped)
Standing sex making height difference work overtime
Standing missionary romantic with a side of vertigo
Standing sex when laziness loses to horniness
Standing sex free leg day included
Standing sex the reason heels were invented
Standing sex gravity’s favorite kink
Standing sex quickie’s taller cousin
Standing sex because horizontal is overrated
Oral Sex Puns
Going down under the Australian kiss
Oral the only meal where seconds are mandatory
Giving head like it’s my full-time job
Oral breakfast of champions
Blowjob: the original throat goat
Eating her out like it’s my last supper
Oral where tongue technology peaks
Head so good she saw the matrix code
Oral making her speak in tongues (literally)
Blowies happier than a kid with ice cream
Oral the appetizer that stole the show
Giving brain like I’m trying to earn a degree
Oral where silence is the best compliment
Head game so strong she forgot her own name
Oral the only time deep throat is a talent
Anal Sex Puns (tasteful edition)
Backdoor guest be gentle or be gone
Anal the forbidden fruit that became a whole meal
Wrong hole? More like right on time
Anal exit only until it isn’t
Backdoor delivery handle with care
Anal when the front door is under renovation
Pegging flipping the script one thrust at a time
Anal the VIP section of sex
Backdoor bandit reporting for duty
Anal slow and steady wins the cheeks
Anal where lube is love language
Backdoor shenanigans loading…
Anal the express lane to “oh my god”
Anal because sometimes one hole isn’t enough
Backdoor policy: yes with preparation
Wheelbarrow Position Puns
Wheelbarrow gym class trauma turned sexy
Wheelbarrow arms day and sex day combined
Wheelbarrow when doggy got too mainstream
Wheelbarrow trust falls but make it dirty
Wheelbarrow core strength or bust
Wheelbarrow the original partner carry
Wheelbarrow upside-down doggy with commitment
Wheelbarrow making planks look easy
Wheelbarrow when you both hate your shoulders tomorrow
Wheelbarrow circus sex for couples who skip leg day
Wheelbarrow proof gravity can be kinky
Wheelbarrow handstand with benefits
Wheelbarrow the human dolly experience
Wheelbarrow arms burning, cheeks earning
Wheelbarrow advanced level: add spanking
Butterfly Position Puns
Butterfly edge-of-the-bed magic
Butterfly legs up like Wi-Fi bars
Butterfly deep strokes with a view
Butterfly when the bed is only half necessary
Butterfly ankles by ears, soul leaving body
Butterfly the scenic route to pound town
Butterfly making her toes point like a ballerina
Butterfly counter-height sex’s classy cousin
Butterfly legs spread like gossip
Butterfly the position that invented ankle grab
Butterfly deep penetration with extra flutter
Butterfly when missionary grew wings
Butterfly giving “open wide” a new meaning
Butterfly table sex without the mess
Butterfly legs in the air, standards on the floor
Pretzel Position Puns
Pretzel flexibility or surgery, choose one
Pretzel human knot with orgasms
Pretzel yoga teacher watching in horror
Pretzel twisted in all the right ways
Pretzel Dip now with extra salt (and sweat)
Pretzel legs tangled like earphones in a pocket
Pretzel advanced contortion for intermediate couples
Pretzel making scissors look basic
Pretzel when doggy and missionary had a baby
Pretzel deep and complicated, just like us
Pretzel flexibility flex harder than the orgasm
Pretzel the only snack that moans back
Pretzel twisted bodies, untwisted feelings
Pretzel because straight sex is boring
Pretzel human origami gone wild
Pile Driver Puns
Pile driver WWE foreplay gone too far
Pile driver neck strength required
Pile driver upside-down pounding championship
Pile driver when gravity joins the party
Pile driver blood rushing to head (both)
Pile driver the human jackhammer
Pile driver for couples who hate their spines
Pile driver deep in a whole new direction
Pile driver making headstands useful
Pile driver the forbidden finishing move
Pile driver vertigo with a happy ending
Pile driver legs up like a knockout
Pile driver when regular deep isn’t deep enough
Pile driver advanced sex for stunt doubles
Pile driver the orgasm that flips you inside out
Amazon Position Puns
Amazon when she takes control and the remote
Amazon thighs stronger than my future
Amazon squatting on it like a pro
Amazon the female-dominant throne
Amazon reverse missionary but make it savage
Amazon she’s on top and in charge
Amazon leg day paying dividends
Amazon the position that scares fragile egos
Amazon deep with a side of dominance
Amazon when she folds you like lawn furniture
Amazon queen sitting on her rightful throne
Amazon making him tap out since 2024
Amazon power move in every thrust
Amazon the original “sit on it”
Amazon thighs of steel, grip of death
Face-Sitting (Queening) Puns
Face-sitting breakfast in bed, upgraded
Queening sitting pretty on his face
Face-sitting the throne has a new queen
Face-sitting smother me in affection
Queening where his tongue pays rent
Face-sitting best seat in the house
Face-sitting oxygen is a privilege
Queening making him earn his breathing rights
Face-sitting the royal treatment
Queening throne made of cheekbones
Face-sitting when “take a seat” gets literal
Queening crown me with your thighs
Face-sitting the only time suffocation is sexy
Queening worship level: expert
Face-sitting dinner served hot and wet
Leapfrog Position Puns
Leapfrog doggy’s bouncier cousin
Leapfrog face down, ass up, standards lower
Leapfrog the lazy girl’s deep penetration
Leapfrog cheeks up like a prayer
Leapfrog when doggy needs more arch
Leapfrog booty popping one bounce at a time
Leapfrog the position that invented “clap for me”
Leapfrog face in pillow, soul in heaven
Leapfrog doggy with extra credit
Leapfrog making the bed creak in rhythm
Leapfrog cheeks spread like Sunday gossip
Leapfrog the arch that broke the internet
Leapfrog when prone bone grows up
Leapfrog spanking encouraged, screaming required
Leapfrog the human seesaw of sex
Seashell Position Puns
Seashell legs behind head like a yoga fail
Seashell folded like a lawn chair
Seashell deep in the best kind of pretzel
Seashell ankles by ears, soul by God
Seashell the human taco with extra filling
Seashell flexibility or ambulance, no in-between
Seashell when butterfly wasn’t deep enough
Seashell legs up like surrender flag
Seashell the origami of orgasms
Seashell folded, filled, and fulfilled
Seashell making her moan in cursive
Seashell the position that needs a spotter
Seashell deep strokes in compact mode
Seashell when regular missionary feels roomy
Seashell the human envelope, licked and sealed
Threesome & Group Puns (bonus round)
Threesome double the fun, triple the laundry
Two mouths, one me living the dream
Threesome the only time sharing is actually caring
Group project but everyone does the work
Threesome double stuffed in the best way
Two girls one me math finally makes sense
Threesome when one hole isn’t enough drama
Group sex the original team-building exercise
Threesome double trouble, triple moans
Two tongues are better than one apology
Threesome making jealousy work overtime
Group chat finally went offline
Threesome the only time “tag team” is sexy
Double penetration exit-only traffic jam
Threesome where “no homo” goes to die happily
Final Thoughts
You now own 300+ puns that are equal parts clever, dirty, and shareable.
Drop one in the group chat, slide it into your partner’s DMs, or whisper it mid-thrust and watch the magic (and laughter) happen.
Which one’s your favorite? Save this monster of a list, steal your top 5, and tag your friends who need better dirty humor. Life’s too short for boring sex jokes stay funny, stay freaky! 🔥
David is the creative mind behind jokes Crafter, a hub for clever jokes, witty wordplay, and laugh-out-loud content. With a passion for humor and a knack for crafting the perfect punchline, David brings smiles to readers across the globe. When he's not writing, he's probably thinking up his next viral joke or enjoying a good comedy show.
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